Kevin's horoscope is a black guy ripping off his toenail.

So Kevin decides to make a daily booth. Big whoop. Well, it is for the fbi. But we'll get into that later. Kevin starts by uploading a picture of him holding his cat. He pressed "1-2-3" and by the time it reached 1, the cat was digging its nails into his face. He began to yell and scream for mercy. He ripped out his cats nails, but that ripped off half his face. Clumsily, he hit upload picture and uploaded a picture of half his face missing. When he got a comment, he smiled as the pain intensified. He left his mom's basement and went outside. He was walking past an alley as a big black man shot his foot and pulled poor kevin by the ears deeper into the alley. He took kevin, shoved oxycotin down his throat and slapped him in the face. Kevin begging for help, but he made a typo which caused him to cut himself. A gang called "The moon busta'z" He started puking from the lack of blood caused from his cat. He passed out. He woke up in a strange room, he couldnt quite describe it until it hit him. He was in purgatory. He got up and felt his face. He was healed. Now kevin saw a guy, and asked him where he was going.. The guy told him that he's going to hell because he's Kevin. Kevin got on his hands and knee's, snorted some crack, and begged to go to heaven. The guy simply looked down, said this straight to his face, "Do you want to be slapped across the face?" and kneed him in the chin. Kevin was gasping for air. He didn't know how to get out. He started to feel shaking and looked up. He wasy lying on the floor in his basement surrounded by a puddle of blood. He looked to the left: his cat walking with patches of skin attached to his paws. He looked to the right: he got a new follower on dailybooth. Her name was "Nancyrose" He crawled towards his computer crying and looked at her pictures. It turns out to be his old science teacher. He smiled with joy when he heard his mom stomping downstairs in her old bathrobe holding a broom. She yelled, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOIN'?!?! GET THE HECK OUT OF MY HOUSE! I DON'T WANT NO MURDER SCENE!" She approached him with the broom and shoved the back of it down his throat. He was puking uncontrollably as his mom went back upstairs cussing. Kevin just layed there, half-dead wondering if he wanted to meet morgan freeman....